A block of thought
It has been two weeks since I have written here. It has not been that I don't have anything to say, or that I am too busy to write. I just haven't been in the mood to sit and write when I can. There are times when I think to myself that I really want to write this or that, but then I don't get to do it and later I can't...
Lately the boys have been really needing my full attention. They have so much to say and share with me. Sometimes I feel bad because I am just tired and need some alone time. Other times I am contemplating the world around me and all the chaos of life outside of my small haven in Uzbekistan. More often than not it is overwhelming. I know that my time here is to prepare me for the next step that I choose to take - wherever it might be. I have so many things that I am thinking about in these terms on a personal level:
- do I return to Latvia, or go somewhere else in the world?
- If I return to Latvia, do I sell my apartment and build a house off the grid? Or do I do that somewhere else?
- Is being in Latvia the right choice for the future of my children? As I continue to read the Latvian news daily, I continue to wonder at the politics and the priorities of those living there. And the inflation!
- How do I continue to deal with the boys' Dad in terms of child support that is not occurring? (Right now he is not open to discussion on this issue.)
On a worldwide level:
- I am watching the economy with concern about the devopments and wondering if the impending world wide recession will move into a full-fledged depression...
- I see new civil conflicts starting world wide and wonder if the tentative democracies in so many parts of the world will survive. When I tried to see if there was a map that showed where the conflicts were, what I found instead were links to a computer game listed as "world in conflict" - a sign of where the attention of the world is?
- Climate change... Last night I watched the BBC's 80 Treasures of the World Part 1 and 2. They went to Easter Island to see the carvings. I had not realized the full story of the carvings. While there they described how in making the carvings the tribe had to cut down all the trees in order to be able to move them all around the island. Due to that they not only changed their ecosystem, limiting what could live there, but also limited their ability to leave the island to search out food elsewhere, because wood was no longer available for canoes. As a result they broke into two factions, destroyed their gods, and then began to destroy each other. One of the new religions created was a birdman religion that seems to have been focused on cannibalism... The destruction of humanity on Easter Island, in this small microcosm, to me is a poignant forewarning and reminder of what could happen to humanity worldwide. Lessons are there for everyone to see, but more or less humanity ignores them.
- Another example of this is the Altai people's plight - read about how the Russian government is trying to take one of the last indigeneous people's lands away:
http://www.AltaiMir.org
Hmm. All of the above is a bit depressing. But I know I need to be working on considering all of those things, and refinding my place in the world as a whole.
Perhaps right now I am also just looking for a bit of hope about the world.
My next post should be a brighter one - there are lots of things about life here that I will write about - and there should also be some pictures... But I did need to share these things too.
Lately the boys have been really needing my full attention. They have so much to say and share with me. Sometimes I feel bad because I am just tired and need some alone time. Other times I am contemplating the world around me and all the chaos of life outside of my small haven in Uzbekistan. More often than not it is overwhelming. I know that my time here is to prepare me for the next step that I choose to take - wherever it might be. I have so many things that I am thinking about in these terms on a personal level:
- do I return to Latvia, or go somewhere else in the world?
- If I return to Latvia, do I sell my apartment and build a house off the grid? Or do I do that somewhere else?
- Is being in Latvia the right choice for the future of my children? As I continue to read the Latvian news daily, I continue to wonder at the politics and the priorities of those living there. And the inflation!
- How do I continue to deal with the boys' Dad in terms of child support that is not occurring? (Right now he is not open to discussion on this issue.)
On a worldwide level:
- I am watching the economy with concern about the devopments and wondering if the impending world wide recession will move into a full-fledged depression...
- I see new civil conflicts starting world wide and wonder if the tentative democracies in so many parts of the world will survive. When I tried to see if there was a map that showed where the conflicts were, what I found instead were links to a computer game listed as "world in conflict" - a sign of where the attention of the world is?
- Climate change... Last night I watched the BBC's 80 Treasures of the World Part 1 and 2. They went to Easter Island to see the carvings. I had not realized the full story of the carvings. While there they described how in making the carvings the tribe had to cut down all the trees in order to be able to move them all around the island. Due to that they not only changed their ecosystem, limiting what could live there, but also limited their ability to leave the island to search out food elsewhere, because wood was no longer available for canoes. As a result they broke into two factions, destroyed their gods, and then began to destroy each other. One of the new religions created was a birdman religion that seems to have been focused on cannibalism... The destruction of humanity on Easter Island, in this small microcosm, to me is a poignant forewarning and reminder of what could happen to humanity worldwide. Lessons are there for everyone to see, but more or less humanity ignores them.
- Another example of this is the Altai people's plight - read about how the Russian government is trying to take one of the last indigeneous people's lands away:
http://www.AltaiMir.org
Hmm. All of the above is a bit depressing. But I know I need to be working on considering all of those things, and refinding my place in the world as a whole.
Perhaps right now I am also just looking for a bit of hope about the world.
My next post should be a brighter one - there are lots of things about life here that I will write about - and there should also be some pictures... But I did need to share these things too.
Comments
The question about returning to Latvia and whether it may be good for boys... I have been thinking about it. It's an open country now with no borders, yet the openness depends on generation. Those after 30 do not think outside their box. It feels different in Sweden and many other countries. And it's different for today's teenagers. There's nothing dangerous for the boys if they don't get stuck in their backyard - a few trips abroad every year and regular personal contacts with the outside world are essential.
Politics and corruption - I'm too tired to think about it. I enjoy that Latvia, unlike Eastern states, is a weak state with strong society. Not a weak society in dictatorship.
/Eriks
I am glad you are reading the blog. :-) Maybe we will see you this summer in Latvia?
Yes, I have to agree that the younger generation is very different. Yet, I see a callousness towards individuality growing in schools. It is still the case that the strongest and the most liked students receive the most accolades even if they do not deserve it. Perhaps I am reading too many stories in the newspaper, but it is a concern for me that this is not changing. Attitudes towards people of different color, sexual orientation, and life approach are limited and conservative...
Neither is the style of teaching changing in schools. The fact that conceptual learning is being ignored over the memorization of facts still bothers me terribly. Young people will not be as able to apply their knowledge to all aspects of life. I feel it is a very limiting learning and teaching style. I want more for my children, and beyond being able to set up my own school I do not see this happening.
Gita