Tired but can't sleep, so I must need to write...

I went to bed about an hour ago. I read for a bit, and felt sleepy, so I turned out the light. I rolled over and rolled back to the other side again. I just could not feel the same tiredness. My thoughts were all over the place, and I just couldn't stop them. Maybe if I write them I might find the ability to sleep...

So what was I thinking about - not a simple answer:

• what will my field trip be like tomorrow?
• do I have everything packed I need - what is the one item I will inevitably forget?
  
• am I really prepared for the retreat?
  
• are the students ready for the intensity? they think it will be a fun a trip, will the work be too hard, will they work hard too?
  
• did I write the right things in the student reports? Will something be too much for a kid or parent to handle? is something missing that should be there?
  
• Why do we have to write so much when often parents can't even read the report I write?
  
• Will my friend S be able to finish her reports before we leave tomorrow?
  
• Will the boys be OK staying with Nona tomorrow night?
  
• Will they be OK at swimming tomorrow by themselves (kinda - Ahat will be there, and so will their friends...)
• Are they OK in general living here?
  
• Did I do the right thing moving here? Their Dad doesn't think so?
  
• But then if he had been paying child support I might have been able to not move... and how can I get him to pay child support?
• Do I really want him to pay child support?
  
• When he left, he left all the responsibility on my shoulders for the boys care and the finances - will I be able to manage that for the rest of their lives?
  
• What will they think of the divorce when they are older?
  
• I read my friend M's blog where she wrote about being 6 when her parents split up and how she is still dealing with some of those ramifications... will D and N have difficulties in the future because of it? Namejs was 4 and Didzis 6 - so small, so loving, and so confused when it all happened. :-(
  
• Tears came to my eyes, but my thoughts were ready to keep going, keep dwelling on all of these things. I wondered why do people dwell on things so long?
  
• Even every day things we dwell on... did I make the right choice in my food, in the words I used when speaking to that person, in my meetings today?
  
• I dwell on why are some people more equal than others?
  
• ...why is common courtesy not the norm in situations where there are meetings of the mind with people of power?
  
• ...why are decisions made behind closed doors, not shared with others, and then advertised as a fact?
  
• ...why is questioning sometimes interpreted as criticism or negative commentary?
  
• All of these dwellings went from local to world in my mind.
  
• Challenges are also growth and development - why doesn't everyone see that? Why doesn't everyone grow with the challenges they meet, the ones they fail, and the ones that chase them down?

At this point I realized if I didn't stop I would just begin to go back in circles to the original question and it would start again. Just writing this I had to think about what that original question was, so maybe, just maybe I have ended the question cycle, and am tired enough to go to bed and actually fall sleep.